Trusting God

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love,
because you have seen my affliction;
you have known the distress of my soul,
and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy;
you have set my feet in a broad place.

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eye is wasted from grief;
my soul and my body also.

Psalm 31:7-9



But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

Isaiah 43:1-2



Dependency is such a negative quality in American culture, especially in women I think. We're taught to be so self-sufficient, that we don't need to rely on other people to meet our needs. It's not attractive or okay really to admit that you need someone or something, that I can't stand by myself. I'm learning, in a not-so-pleasant way to be dependent, to rely on God. I have no idea where my future's heading, what it will look like, what I'm going to do. It's easier to believe that I can rely on myself when I can see my future, when I'm content and comfortable in my life now, when...I don't know. I wish I didn't have to learn dependence and obedience the hard way. I wish it came naturally, that it was easy and I didn't have to learn by experience. But God's will is better than mine, right? His ways, His thoughts are higher than mine. It's a slow, painful process of learning, but I know the lesson is worth learning. I have to believe that it is, that God is faithful and trustworthy. I have to believe that He has a plan and knows more than I do or...I don't know how I'd be. Well I guess if I wasn't listening to Him and trusting Him, I wouldn't be here now in this situation. I've heard before that it's easier to trust God in brokenness and in want. Painful times are often good growing periods for a lot of people and as much as I wish I grew without the pain, I'm hoping it's a good refining process.