You know what, I would save the receptionist. Just wanted to clear that up.

I love the Office. It is my favorite show, maybe close to rivaling Gilmore Girls in sheer awesomeness. Not quite, but definitely close. A lot of the reason I like it is because of Jim. John Krasinski is definitely not bad looking and the character of Jim is so awesome.

For the Women's Care Ministry I'm a part of this year, we're leading a book study on Captivating. The primary thing the author talks about is the three deep, soul level desires of all women, which are to be romanced, to be an irreplaceable part of a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. I've only read the first chapter so far and I don't remember the rest of what she says, but these things definitely fit me. I think my love of the Office and of Jim relates to these desires. I want to be Pam, to have a guy totally in love with me, who doesn't give up for years, who proposes in a gas station in the middle of pouring rain. Maybe not those exact things...but I love Pam and Jim's story. Jim's super funny and awesome and funny and...I'm not good with adjectives.

In Captivating, Stasi Elderedge talks about a woman's desire to be romanced, to be pursued by a man and to be his priority. She talks about getting flowers and love letters from the guy she ended up marrying and I'm like...that's so cute. I want that too. But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't talk about wanting this. I'm almost embarrassed to be writing this right now, like it's too personal. There's a song by Bethany Dillon called Beautiful and in it she says that she wants to be beautiful, to make someone to stand in awe, to be amazed by her inner and outer beauty. I posted the lyrics on my MySpace once, a couple years ago and felt almost embarrassed that I agreed with her then. They're...too deep, too close to my heart.

To admit that I want to, I yearn to, be romanced and pursued is...it feels girly and weak and desperate. I can and do live and get along without a man in my life; I'm a whole, complete person by myself. I don't live and wait for the time when there is someone pursuing me...but it's still something I want. It's why I wish Jim was real.

Vaya con Dios.